Google know who they’re streaming videos to. They know this from the back-end. They absolutely do not require a script running in the browser to phone home about it in order to count “views”. All the telemetry they need they can get from existing traffic; the additional telemetry supplied by scripts is mostly just for Bad Reasons and it’s morally fine to block it.

MS Edge is Chrome, with a slight MS reskin.

That’s weird and sounds like some kind of software problem. I can’t see how that would happen otherwise. I have a Voyage and don’t have wifi configured on it at all, just add books with calibre and it’s been fine for a decade.

How exactly does one suck a fuck?

Storage and processors don’t last forever. As parts break down, you won’t be able to replace them. Need a new hard drive? Sorry, it’ll only talk to motherboards that shake its hand.