Every single single accusation, regardless how outlandish it may seem, is an admission. At this point I would not be surprised if they had pedo space lasers igniting Californian forests.

At least 30 years.

Consider the following (IMO common) scenario: One spouse is abusive and does not care about the children. Maybe it’s a malignant narcissist and their family is like property for them.

The other spouse cares about the children and may be the only one doing any real parenting. Also they suffer the loveless, abusive marriage. At some point they meet someone that cares for them and somehow that leads to cheating before they can escape the marriage.

In this scenario the children should stay with the cheater and the alimony should not be depending on who cheated. (Both IMO of course).