This reminds me of when I used to paddle around a swampy, stagnant channel tucked away at the southeast corner of the lake I grew up on. One particular day I recall passing by the most pristine animal skeleton I had ever seen. I think it was a raccoon or someone’s dog, but it was close to the surface, had its jaws open wide, and appeared to be reaching up toward the sky in a very dramatic fashion. It was a little unsettling, but also one of the coolest things I’d witnessed in the lake.

I circled back around to get a second look, but the skeleton vanished entirely. The water and muck beneath was calm and largely undisturbed, and there was no algae on the surface to obscure it. I spent maybe ten or fifteen minutes paddling around the small area for that thing, but it was just gone. It was as though it sunk back into the murky depths, where the drowners lie in wait for night to fall.

The Latino community should start busting up piñatas of his image. Fill them with McDoubles.

I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I go around kissing ants.

You’re a fucking dumbass person who made an honest mistake, and you should be thrown into a woodchipper commended for owning up to it.